Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Caught up in a Whirlwind...

Alright, so we have been making quite a bit of progress on this adventure. There have defintiely been some major highs. However, within the last week, we had the first of the lows. The first of which being behind in reading in class. However, we will not focus on that part so much. Because, any good journey has to have some pitfalls, right.
I have been trying to catch up on my work, however, it is time for midterms, which means the same amount of reading, coupled with trying to prepare for quizzes/exams.
However, I can report that it has not all been rough. I took my first midterm in Sociology of Culture and I was completely nervous that I was not truly ready. I had been diligent about the reading up to this point, and have been doing every extra credit assignment thus far. (You ALWAYS do extra credit, because you never know when your going to need it... You can be flying high and then all of a sudden... And Extra Credit is what is going to pull that bacon out of the direct fire and put back into the frying pan.)
Anyway, I am happy to report making a 100% on that midterm!
Which is exactly what I needed to gain the confidence for my midterm in Politics and Social Change which is due this Thursday. It reminded me that I am not to small for this big adventure, which sometimes, I wonder.
Another major milestone came for me during this past week, in the discussion portion of my Politics and Social Change course.
This story is specifically for women who might be taking the time to read this... (Although this is written specifically to log my adventure with the intention of helping any other Spelmanite who might want to take a similar journey, I hope they are not the only ones who will benefit from this...)
Anyway, we were having a discussion in the course about whether or not the State (government) can be considered inherently capitalist or not. I will not tell you my arguement because that is not the important part. The important part is that, a classmate of mine disagreed vehemently with me about my perspective. Well, that in and of itself is not a big deal. However, it is to be noted that, I am the only female who was present in this discussion section. Also, I was the only African American.
Anyone who truly knows me knows, the thing I hate most in human relationships is confrontation and disagreement. I usually try to avoid it. But, anyone who is alive knows, avoiding it... is impossible.
Well, when my classmate disagreed with me, my argument kind of got lost in discussion. Other tried to argue both sides but, I was not able to speak up to support my own idea. And, that really upset me because, inside my own head, I had an argument to the statements, and they were not being voiced by anyone else. But, I felt afraid to speak them. However, I decided, I wasn't going to let fear be the determining factor in whether or not my ideas were going to be heard. So, I decided to argue. And, I am most proud of myself because, I argued until there was nothing left. The point wasn't really to be right, but to support my ideas. Which I did.
This is important because, often times, women's ideas get lost in translation, overlooked or spoken by a male and then praised. And, so many times, we allow this to be the case.
But, I have to say, being assertive does not have to translate into mean and nasty or the negative image that so many people have of assertive and outspoken women.
So, if there is a point in the next few days when you get the chance to speak out, I encourage you to do it. Your heart may race, and your voice my quiver, but, you say it. Why? Because your ideas are valuable. And no one else is going to speak your mind for you.
So, go for it. And, do not get intimidated by the person you a voicing them to. At the end of the day, they are just human too. God didn't make them any MORE than they made you. You just have to choose to use it.
Well, that's the insight for the week. And it was a point of personal growth that I felt deserved to share.
(And, I'd like to add that sense then, I have been speaking my mind so much, I can barely keep it to myself. And it feels really, really good. Like filling your lungs with air after coming up from underwater....)
So, get to it!
I'll close with this parting thought:

"To tend, unfailingly, unflinchingly, towards a goal, is the secret to success."- Anna Pavlova

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